Thanksgiving Stress: Beyond the Dinner Table – How to Set Boundaries and Manage Holiday Anxiety at Thanksgiving
bftherapy • October 8, 2025

Thanksgiving stress often hides behind images of joyful families and shared gratitude, yet what is often unseen is the significant emotional and psychological toll it takes on many individuals. The holiday season can bring an increased level of pressure and emotional exhaustion, and many people feel a certain amount of dread when it comes to returning to a place they have outgrown or facing unresolved family issues. These feelings are valid, and it is a sign of strength to proactively protect your peace of mind and acknowledge that Thanksgiving stress is a real and common experience.


Navigating Conflict and Emotional Triggers During Thanksgiving Stress

The holiday environment—with its high expectations, financial demands, and forced proximity—can intensify Thanksgiving stress . When reality doesn’t match the idealized version of the holiday, it can lead to disappointment, anxiety, and emotional fatigue. For many, this stress emerges from the pressure to maintain harmony while dealing with complex family dynamics.

For individuals who have experienced relational trauma, these gatherings can be particularly difficult. The sights, sounds, and conversations of the season can resurface past tensions, amplify insecurities, and increase the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed. Recognizing these emotional triggers is one of the first steps to managing Thanksgiving stress effectively. It allows you to prepare mentally and emotionally for what might come up, rather than being caught off guard by it.


The Power of Setting Healthy Boundaries to Reduce Thanksgiving Stress

One of the most powerful tools for managing Thanksgiving stress is establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. Boundaries act as emotional safeguards, helping you navigate interactions that might otherwise drain your energy or trigger anxiety. Deciding beforehand what topics or behaviors you are unwilling to tolerate can help protect your emotional well-being and prevent your stress from escalating.

Effective strategies for managing this high-stress period include:

  • Pre-emptive Communication: Discuss expectations with a partner or trusted family member before the event to minimize misunderstandings that contribute to your stress.

  • Planned Disengagement: Know when to step away for a five- or ten-minute break to reset your mood and regain perspective when you feel that your stress begins to rise.

  • Clear Statements: Prepare phrases to shut down difficult conversations, such as, “I’m not comfortable discussing that right now,” or, “Let’s agree to disagree.” Having these ready can make handling your stress far easier in the moment.

Boundaries aren’t about avoiding people; they’re about creating emotional balance and self-protection. By being intentional with your time, energy, and responses, you are actively taking steps to manage Thanksgiving stress before it takes control of you.


When Thanksgiving Stress Feels Overwhelming

If the dread of Thanksgiving stress feels unmanageable, it is completely okay to say no—to gatherings, to conversations, or to expectations that compromise your peace. Prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being is not selfish; it’s necessary. Some years, stepping back is the healthiest decision you can make.

You might also consider speaking with a therapist before the holiday gathering to develop coping tools for managing triggers, upholding your boundaries, and working through underlying causes of Thanksgiving stress . Professional support can help you approach family interactions with more confidence and resilience. Our therapists at Bona Fide Psychotherapy & Counselling can help you through this process. If you feel the need, you can book a free 15-minute phone consultation with us here.

Additionally, try creating a personal plan for moments of overwhelm. This could include journaling, deep breathing, or reaching out to a trusted friend for a quick check-in. Even small steps can have a big impact on reducing your stress level and keeping you grounded throughout the season.


Finding Balance Amid Thanksgiving Stress and Gratitude

While Thanksgiving stress can feel heavy, it’s also an opportunity to reflect on what truly matters to you. Gratitude doesn’t require perfection—it can coexist with discomfort, distance, or growth. Allow yourself to redefine what Thanksgiving means this year. Whether that means attending a smaller dinner, hosting your own quiet celebration, or simply taking time to rest, give yourself permission to create a version of the holiday that aligns with your peace.

Remember, holiday stress affects many people, even if it’s rarely discussed openly. You are not alone in feeling the pressure of expectations or the weight of unresolved emotions. By setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-awareness, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate the season with more calm, clarity, and compassion.

Thanksgiving stress doesn’t have to define your experience—how you manage it can shape a more peaceful and meaningful holiday.

Jessica is a Registered Social Worker (MSW, RSW), EMDRIA Approved Consultant. She helps individuals struggling with PTSD, trauma, anxiety and managing moods like depression. She also supports EMDR therapists seeking consultation for certification and building confidence in their EMDR skills.
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